Episode 2.17 - Amazeballs of Neglect

What’s the only thing more badass than a honey badger on a killing spree? The one and only GleeKast of course! Erica and Emily return from their hiatus with sassy stories of Horror Hound Weekend, tempestuous teases about spin-off podcasts and the audio Internet’s biggest apology of all time (hi Troy’s mom!). Oh yeah, and they also discuss A Night of Neglect, Glee’s trisnoozent return to spring TV! But that’s probably less interesting than Erica’s surprise attack by a giant stuffed bear or Emily’s dog’s ability to break into a locked room. Visit our forums over at palavr.com so that we can feel special and/or email us kindly at gleekast@gmail.com so that we can be nourished and not neglected. You don’t want us to starve to death, do you? Because then you’d be a bad person, about on par with a heckle-happy teen and that (afterschool special Gwyneth Paltrow voice on) is wrong. Now perk up, send your message, and return to your Mark Harmon-based fantasies. We’ll still be here.

Bonus Episode - The Podcast Podcast GleeKast GleeKast BurlesqueBurlesque Commentary TrackTrack!

A few months ago, Erica and Emily discovered the new eighth wonder of the world, a little feel-good glitter gun blast of a film known as Burlesque. They recorded a bonus episode wherein both giddily detailed the entire plot in an hour, but really, that’s not nearly enough justice bestowed upon something so wonderful. Hence, the GleeKast gals teamed up with the Podcast Podcast & Co. for a full on COMMENTARY track. HEAR the wonders of FozzieBare’s Cher singalongs. HEAR the power of what pearls feel like in lady places. HEAR everything you ever needed to know about air rights. We recommend queuing this episode up with the film, more because the film is AMAZING than for context, but go jogging with us on your iPod for all we care. So long as you’ve got black lace panties underneath, it’s cool. Studies have also shownthat listening to the GleeKast Podcast Podcast Burlesque Commentary in the waiting room of your plastic surgeon produces an 88% success rate in facial results and a 99% spectacular rate in boob enhancements. So really, what are you waiting for? These sexy squinty eyed bartender songwriters aren’t going to be straight forever.

Bonus Episode - High School Musical Commentary

Bop it to the top, yo! Erica and Emily can’t leave you hanging at the basketball net of life just ‘cause Glee is taking a break. Hence we bring you this Very Special Bonus Commentary on what is undoubtedly one of the main reasons Glee was ever greenlit, the Disney Channel’s highly successful High School Musical. Join the gals as they try their best not to sing along (despite the fact that Emily doesn’t actually know the tunes, having never seen the film before) or confess their own sssecretsss that involve dirtier things than baking and cellos. Throughout our viewing, we also provide play-by-play updates on the developing love affair between Erica and Mookie, a very insistent cat who refuses to be turned down by Erica’s lap. It’s far dirtier than anything that happens onscreen, although we have our doubts about what DIDN’T make the cut. There’s a lot of Vanessa Hudgens hatred and Costas Mandylor dreamcasting, but what else can you expect? So cue up the Encore Edition of High School Musical and press play with us for a deep and dark journey into Scholastic Decathalons, big games, awkward brother/sister romantic duets, botany, and Emily and Erica’s own odd high school experiences (which apparently involved tennis, badminton, and Slurpees). We’ll be back soon with actual Glee-centric GleeKasts, but until then, bop it like a Wildcat.

Episode 2.16 - He Kissed A Boy and We Liked it

With bedazzlement firmly in place, Erica and Emily put on their finest bridesmaids/regionals gowns and open their big trouty mouths to dig into the oddly titled “Original Song”, aka the 16th episode of Glee’s 2nd season. Much squealing is sounded for the Blurt consummation, while confusion continues to reign as the ladies consider the mysterious fate of Vocal Adrenaline. Music is discussed at length, culminating in a rather unfortunate revelation about Blackbird and Charles Manson (thanks Wayne) but hey, we get by with our usual rounds of tangents, feedback, and Warbler worship. Send your thoughts to gleekast@gmail.com, join the party at palavr.com, and stay tuned for our Very Special Commentary Bonus coming next week to sate your thirst during Glee’s hiatus. Oh, and Victoria Jackson should go eat a mediocre peanut butter and jelly sandwich on stale white bread, then discover the hard way that she’s allergic to peanuts, and just as a nearby friend is about to pump her up with an EpiPen as she suffocates on her own hives, an escaped velociraptor from Jurassic Park should descend upon her and tear her ugly blond head from her psychotic close-minded body. Lastly, Mookie will pee on her. And that’s how we feel about that! Onto Nationals!

Episode 2.15 - Let Me Tell Ya Bout the Birds and the Bees and the Glees

Break out those cucumber flavored condoms! It’s time for GleeKast to sex you up, celibacy club and tango style. Erica and Emily pop Episode 15’s cherry pineapple marshmallow fluff afternoon delight with their usual round of tangental too much information. They also sexily sway through Sexy, trying their best not to get too distracted with visions of John Stamos’ lonely hose monster or Matthew Morrison’s open collar. The show closes with an epic round of feedback, of which you could contribute to next week by emailing gleekast@gmail.com. Party on at our forums over at palavr.com and check out some of our smartypants emailers at their respective blogs:



Wayne Kotke: http://d2rights.blogspot.com



Anna In London: http://gaychristiangeek.blogspot.com



Ashlee: http://buriedinabookcrypt.blogspot.com



Also, check out Ashlee and Emily’s articles in the all-female issue of Paracinema Magazine! http://paracinema.net



And for good ol’ times, here’s a link Harvey sent us that bares a shared sentiment with Afternoon Delight: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdFghZmdwXk



Hearts, hugs, and sexy yet responsible veggie tales lessons to all.

Episode 2.14 - The Bi-Pinkuridrunk Show

Some might blame it on the February blues, but here at the GleeKast, we’ll take any old excuse to blame It (you know, IT) on the alcohol. The girls sober up to tackle Episode 2.14, aka, The One Where Everyone In Glee Gets Really Drunk And We Notice That Everything’s Coming Up Bedazzles. There’s lots of 90210 nostalgia, Blaine swooning, headband worship and fashion judgment, plus a new question of the week to be answered on our palavr.com forums. Drive your non-alcoholic feedback to gleekast@gmail.com and ask Finn to send your alcoholic feedback to gleekast@gmail.com. We’re responsible like that. Also, check out Erica’s knew knitting blog over at knitsasmallworld.com. We’ll be back in two weeks with the next new episode, but if you should ever need us, always remember that you are Lisa Simps—I mean, go to palavr.comand hang out on the message boards. We’ll be there. And might be drunk.

Episode 2.13 - Color Me Glee

How does one locate cat poop when it’s not in a litterbox? Are all kids with cancer full of smiles and cheer? When is a lesbian love ballad not about lesbians? And just how scarring a life experience is seeing Justin Bieber in concert for adult women? These questions and more get asked and occasionally answered on this installment of GleeKast, where Erica and Emily delve con mucho gusto into Comeback, an episode that seems to only have poco gusto. We still get to practice our Spanish though, so that’s a plus. Answer our spicy question of the week over at palavr.com, where the forum boards are buzzing with all sorts of life-changing topics and listener-provided brilliance. Send your feedback to gleekast@gmail.com if you don’t want us to contemplate sue-icide via gummy vitamins. See you next week, unless we bump into each other before at Kids ‘R Us or the place where all the cool kids will henceforth roam, Color Me Mine. We’ll even lend you a t-shirt (I hear Erica has one from the J. Biebs concert she went to…)

Episode 2.12 - Fat Bottom Girls You Make Tate Donovan Be Proud

You might THINK that people would’ve had enough of silly love songs, but Erica and Emily clearly see that isn’t so. No. Especially when they delve into the heart-shaped box of non-sucking chocolate that was, well….Silly Love Songs! Crushes are born, new nicknames formed, and a glimmer of hope illuminated for the actual character development of one Lauren Zizis. Remember, you can’t spell woman without a C, can’t cheat on your bee eff without m-o-n-o, and can’t chit the chat about Glee or answer our exciting question of the week without p-a-l-a-v-r dot com. Send your feedback, roses, gold star necklaces, coffee orders, onesies, stuffed dogs representing puppy love, and Gap giftcards togleekast@gmail.com and feel ABSOLUTELY free to make a gigantic display of affection in a public arena in the names of us. It will not be too much.

Episode 2.11 - Zombies and Canons and Glee, OH MY!

Erica and Emily break out the pompoms and jockstraps for the football-filled return of Glee, an event so epic it requires something even more powerful than a sue-clear canon, namely…well, we can’t really remember because the episode was kind of forgettable. The Sue Sylvester Shuffle, not the GleeKast, which is of course among the greatest dose of ear orgasm you can possibly hope to ever experience in your sad canon-less life. Don’t believe us? Listen and call us liars, we dare you. I mean, we won’t protect you from that 300 pound linebacker if you do and the canon’s children will totally grow up in shame and squalor, but hey, it’s your life. Feedback goes to gleekast@gmail.com, forum fun parties on at palavr.com, and footballs and Cheerios skirts go into your nearest storage facility.

Bonus Episode - Best of 2010: The Mirrors Edition

It’s GleeKast’s First Annual End-Of-The-Year Wrap-Up Extravaganza Spectacular Festival Of Lots Of Stuff! Erica and Emily kick off the festivities with their very special, very different lists of their ten best films of 2010. Controversy explodes when the two Es reveal a huge difference in values: loyal toys or mirrors…mirrors…MIRRORS? Also on hand is the esteemed Reverend Scott, who directs us to some tear-worthy Sing Off clips (we ‘pologize for that) and his own magical/musical top ten countdown. More warring opinions are waged when the ladies list their top 5 TV moments and engage in a fierce debate on the end of Lost (Emily wins….really…the fact that she’s writing theseshow notes has no bearing on that decision). Somewhere between the madness are gushings about the upcoming Muppets movie, our extended discomfort with watching Dick Clark speak, and a special occult section wherein a lucky magi-gleeful 8-ball reveals ssssssecretssssss for Glee’s 2011 season. We’ll be back in February with the return of a superbowl Glee (has there EVER been a showmore fitting of that timeslot?) so in the meantime, happy Russian Christmas, Merry Martin Luther King Junior Day, a Grand Groundhog Day, and lots of loving to start 2011. Don’t forget to stay in touch on the palavr.com forums or send us some love over at gleekast@gmail.com. Kisses, hugs, and mirrors to all!

Episode 2.10 - Happy Kwannaglee!

Break out your sad berets and husky female santas for A Very GleeKast Xmas, wherein Emily & Erica are joined by the holiday spirit that is lovely guest star Lisa. After an epic round of feedback that includes everything from corporate law to adorable babies, the ladies tackle Glee’s take on grinches, fake snow, Tanning Chatum and stem cell research. Eagle eyed Erica acts all smart and obverservationish with a keen Rachel fashion report and intense research on argomedtechsciencesounding technology, while Emily gets stuck on fat jokes and how to say the word ‘rotisserie.’ Learn all about Long Island’s worst excuse for a shopping mall and why The Christmas Shoes is the greatest song ever written ever (ever).  We’ll be taking a brief hiatus to match Glee, but tune in early January for a bonus show on the best of the year in film and tv. Your feedback/best-of lists/firstborn babies that sing along to Glee are always welcome atgleekast@gmail.com. Visit our forums to answer our many questions of the week over at palavr.com, and have a happy, grinchless, and high calorie filled end of 2010.
Love & snuggles,

Erica & Emily (& Lisa)

Episode 2.9 - Where You Will Never Find Adoltary

GleeKast opens its doors to a Very Special Guest Star in the form of I Can Haz Podcast’s MelByForce, who brings us her thoughts on Episode 2.9: Special Education. This includes figuring out what the title actually means, which is unclear. The ladies dig in to all things Sectionals, including rushed weddings, magic combs, and how to say panache with panache. Also, for no real reason at all, they repeat their hatred of the upcoming Yogi Bear movie. Don’t you think it’s offensive? Tell us so at gleekast@gmail.com or thread it up on our message boards over at Palavr.com. That’s pee a el a vee are, dot com.

Episode 2.8 - Who Furted in Here?

Where else can you learn about the dangers of glitter diets and what it means to be a man? Why, the GleeKast of course! This week, Erica & Emily dissect episode 2.8, Furt, and though it might sound like a noise made by shy balding businessmen after a mini burrito buffet, it’s actually a mostly touching hour filled with teary wedding vows, pretty dresses, famed Nazi huntresses, ’50s showtunes, and locker room brawls with kids in wheelchairs. A lovely email makes the ladies feel old while a commercial for the Yogi Bear movie makes them feel murderous. We pose a probably already answered question of the week to be answered anyway over atpalavr.com. Feedback is welcomed at gleekast@gmail.com. And as always, Mike O’Malley is invited into our hearts, where he and his kicky dance moves are free to supply us with years of warm and cuddly comfort.

Episode 2.7 - Substitute Watersports

It’s a very special episode of the GleeKast when the studio opens its doors and champagne (served in mimosa format) to the PodcastPodcast’s host with most, FozzieBare (aka Jason, but Muppet references make us smile) and his darling feeyonsay, George. The quartet discuss the comfy life of Gwyneth Paltrow, her incredibly fun-to-mock variety of southern accents, and how Apple isn’t really that bad of a name after all. Also, tangents abound on what should have been the sequel to Ever After, the glory of Patti Lupone, and weird looking celebrity babies that almost were. Hear more from Jason over at thepodcastpodcast.com, and head to both of our forums over at Palavr.com. Feedback as always goes to gleekast@gmail.com, and that’s actually a direct note to Mindy Kaling. Hayyyyy, Mindy! To our American friends, we extend a happy Thanksgiving. To all our international listeners, why can’t you just be thankful like us? What, you’re too good to eat turkey just before the xmas season? You’ve offended me. And the only way to get back on my good side is to head to tinyurl.com/kidneywedding to vote for Matt & Liz’s dream wedding every day until November 30th. We don’t want to hurt you, so do it and tell your friends. Or else we’ll hurt them.

Episode 2.6 - The 40 Year Old Virgin

Erica & Emily return from saving the world from to bring you wise words on Glee’s 6th episode, Never Been Kissed. From badass busking to fantasy roadhouses, the ladies delve into the usual round of listener feedback, stopping to tangent on all things tangental. So very tangental that we can’t actually remember anything we discussed, so instead, here’s a link to tinyurl.com/kidneywedding, where you should go to vote for Matt & Liz’s dream wedding because a) they’re great people b) she gave him a kidney and c) if you don’t do so every day until November 30th, we’ll do really bad things to you. Listen to the episode for details.


Send feedback to gleekast@gmail.com, visit our forums at palavr.com, and remember: just because you’re not really pretty on the outside, it doesn’t mean that you don’t have a deliciously nougaty inside that will eventually experience all the joys of a pity kiss. See? We learn a lot from watching Glee, like how the nutcracker isn’t just a musical and that what we really want for Christmas are dueling confetti cans.

Episode 2.5 - Don't Dream It, Glee It

It’s astounding. Time is fleeting. And madness has once again taken its toll on Erica & Emily, who bring you a Halloween hangovered GleeKast detailing episode 2.5, The Rocky Horror Glee Show! The ladies go deep with some thoughtful and smartypants feedback, then explore all the controversial issues surrounding New Directions this week, including Lea Michelle’s lolliporn GQ shoot, Finn’s body issues, Mike Chang’s unXmas albumness, Amber Riley’s unsexy dance moves, the aftereffects of bed-fretting, how The Stamos makes us understand bed-fretting, and the slowly growing problem that is Ryan Murphy’s writing. We also struggle admirably to pronounce the word ‘canonical’ and engage in a fierce debate about the Hokey Pokey. It gets ugly. But also abulous. We’re versatile and EGOT-in-the-making like that. Send your feedback to gleekast@gmail.com and visit our forum over at Palavr.com to answer our Stamosian question of the week. Warning: those who speak ill of the Stamos will be threatened. And possibly given root canals. Details still in development. Now put in your sensational transvestite earplugs and enjoy

Episode 2.4 - Some Kind of Wonderful Breadsticks & the Tramp

Teen wolves! Sexually aware cheerleaders! Invaded urethrae! Learning that the plural of urethra is urethrae! Thus do we enter GleeKast 2.4, as Erica and Emily duet about Duets, pausing of course to discuss listener feedback from smart awesome people, muse over Muppet mashups, and argue over how to count to 12 (it’s so much harder than it sounds). It’s enough to drive even the most adorable of teen sweethearts to Asian Couples’ Therapy! So heat up a basket of doughy fine breadsticks, send emails to gleekast@gmail.com, and sit back to savor the sounds of two Es on Glee, accompanied this week by their own version of Brad the pianist (aka the soft bass snores of Erica’s boyfriend, Mike Not Chang). Have forum fun over at palavr.com (that’s p-a-l-a-v-r-dot-com) and answer our delicious question of the week, or else accept the fact that one of us will, as punishment, perform the next episode as Matthew McConaughy speaking Nav’i while taking a shower.

Episode 2.3 - Ya Gotta Have Faith (Faith Faith, This Episode Was AllAbout Faith, Faith Faith)

Listeners, can you hear us? We sure hope so, otherwise the last hour of our lives spent towards discussing Glee 2.3, Grilled Cheezus, was kind of pointless. We have faith that you’re on the other end of some iPod, squeezing its hand when we tell you just how important you are towards making us whole. You might even call it a spiritual connection akin to biting into buttery toasted goodness high in calcium and Christianity, singing gospel music to an atheist wearing a Christ chic hat, or channeling your inner Babs under a starry starry sky. All this and more happens in Grilled Cheezus, thusly all this and more (including Erica’s not so awkward family photo defense and Emily’s fruitless attempt to unravel the meaning of Joan Osborne) happens in this episode of the GleeKast! Answer our ever so earnest question of the week at our Palavr.com forums and send feedback to gleekast@gmail.com. If you don’t, the evil dwarf that is God (who is one of us) may get angry and punish us all with yet another Mercedes solo. Think about that, won’t you?

Episode 2.2 - Snakes and Dentists and Pop, OH MY!

Break out the laughing gas and dental floss kids: it’s Brittany/Britney…bitch(es). This week, Erica and Emily hooked on phonics their way through listener feedback then stage dive into the second episode of Glee’s second season. Well, they try to, but it’s hard to stay focused when constantly being distracted by the dreaminess of one John Stamos. Seriously, if his face were silk screened onto body pillows, there would be an awful lot of mutant bedding babies roaming Sheets ‘N Things. Which kind of brings us back to the episode, where we offer wildly differing opinions before moving on to discuss Teri’s hot new style, Lea Michelle’s shrinking waistline, the ew-iness of naked sweaty chairs in the school library, Jewish clouds, and what other foods go great with ranch dressing (spoiler alert: all). Answer our question of the week (or just help Emily find a Halloween costume) on our forums over at Palavr.com and send feedback/grilled cheesus sandwiches to gleekast@gmail.com.

Episode 2.1 - Listen!

What did we do for love? Why, come back for the season premiere of Glee’s sophomore year of course! Erica reveals the sordid secrets of her Big Gay Summer, Emily ponders the importance of Hot Topic, Erica confesses her hatred for unestablished single name stars, and for whatever reason, Emily just keeps talking about Hot Topic. We also discuss breast implants, vasectomies, human pyramids, human centipedes, and a whole lot of other topics that somehow have maybe something to possibly do with Glee (sort of kinda sure). Advanced apologies for a likely setback in audio quality, as the first few episodes of the season will be recorded sans high-tech microphones and via Skype. This does have one benefit, namely the fact that we can finally record while naked (maybe), our alone bodies slathered in bacon grease (Erica) or Cheez Wiz (Emily). Remember to loiter in the new home of the GleeKast forums over at Palavr.com (we know there’s supposed to be an E, but between Erica and Emily, we simply ran out) and explore the super duper other podcasts and discussion boards blazing a hole through the Internet. We encourage you to introduce yourselves (so we can stalk you) and answer our question of the week. Send your emails to gleekast@gmail.com and your sacrificial offerings to the angry ghost of the late Matt Rutherford, who now haunts the halls of McKinley High and on weekends, the top left ab of Mike Chang.